Create-a-Caption: Kobe Bryant just needs to get away for a second

Listen, it's not Kobe Bryant's fault, all right? You try averaging 46 minutes a game for a week pretty much out of necessity with pretty much every game being a must-win and a playoff spot hanging in the balance, and see if you don't need to take a second for yourself. In these days of living in public, often the only way we can find a moment's respite is by retreating within ourselves ... or, at least, within our shirts. (It is, at times, a stinky respite.)

Best caption wins tips on making secret hiding spots inside a book, which would be really helpful if Kobe could just find, like, a really big book. Good luck.

In our last adventure: Russell Westbrook likes to axe-kick, which is a technique that appears in at least 16 different video games, so you know it's legit.

Winner, Fanta Pants: Russell Westbrook shows Serge Ibaka why Kareem was only every stopped by one man ... Bruce Lee.

Runner-up, Give_and_go: Russell Westbrook loses a limb as his Air Jordans take flight without him.

Second runner-up, Dave Jules: "Where is that freakin' MAASSCCCOOTTT!!!???"