Create-a-Caption: Ol’ Man Howard has you right where he wants you, Philip

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"Oh, now I've got you, Philip. I've defended your yellow discs with my red ones; you are without available options in your quest to align four like-colored circles. Look at you, desperate for a place to turn, but feeling the pressure of the moment. Now, you are mine. Should've spaced your discs, boy. Prepare for the reck'nin'." — Juwan Howard, the world's crotchety-est, most competitive, most sadistic ol' Connect Four player.

Best caption wins a bootleg Internet version of the popular game. Good luck.

In our last adventure: Calm down, Derek Fisher. Dwyane Wade isn't even on your lawn.

Winner, The King: Fisher: "... and this is how I held all those championship trophies when I was a Laker. Tell LeBron he won't have that problem."

Runner-up, Give_and_go: Wade: "Still riding Kobe's coattails?"

Fisher: "I'M ON A DIFFERENT TEAM!!!"

Wade: "Still riding Kobe's coattails."

Second runner-up, Michael: Fisher's outer monologue: "[EXPLETIVE] you, Wade!"

His inner monologue: "Wish I had Mario Chalmers on my team to yell at."