Guys, I need to come clean — sometimes, in the course of doing my job, I encounter things that make me question my own fandom. I mean, I like the things I like, and I feel sorrow when my favorite teams lose and joy when they win, but there's stuff I see that sometimes makes me wonder whether I'm missing some measure of mania essential to being a truly remarkable supporter.
Like, for example, this image — as captured by Chris Herring of the Wall Street Journal during the San Antonio Spurs' 3-pointer-fueled Game 3 thrashing of the Miami Heat — of a Spurs partisan walking around and having casual conversations while Manu Ginobili's face is shaved into the back of his head, ensuring that the entirety of his rear-facing headparts communicate to whoever's behind him that he has nearly limitless love for a sixth man:
I mean, I buzzed my hair down recently in hopes of combating summertime heat and eventual brow sweat. At no point did I consider putting, like, John Starks back there ... and I'm starting to think that's a "me" problem.
I wonder if our man here has, or will, reach a point — even if only for a second during his regular daily activities — where he forgets that he has an Argentinian legend's face shaved into the back of his head. If that moment ever does come, the snap-back-to-reality thought ("Oh, right, Manu's face is on my skull") must be super brainpan-jarring. Totally worth it, though, obviously.
(Also, wise choice to put Manu's *front* rather than his back on there. No need to add a signature bald spot where one needn't be before one's time comes.)
Given this new information, let us now briefly update one of my favorite installments of Dan Devine's Inarguable Power Rankings, which identify which items in a group of things are most powerful — the Inarguable NBA-Related Shaved-Head Power Rankings.
8. This Adidas-topped Brookyn Nets logo, which is fine, but not SUPER NBA-focused and is kind of boring.
7. This James Harden head, which is obviously more specifically NBA-focused but also significantly more terrifying (via teeth).
6. A bunch of kids at the Boys & Girls Club shaving Brook Lopez's bushy-top before the start of the Brooklyn Nets' season, which was super cute.
5. Kevin Love's Larry Fitzgerald-assisted Bic-down to raise funds for charities that fight breast cancer, which is always a great look.
3. Two Michael Jordan faces in one head of hair. Tough to beat.
2. The too brief, too cold, too amazing Memphis Grizzlies haircut that Tony Allen sported, which, we mustn't forget, included glitter.
1. The Matt Bonner shave that got a young Texas redhead suspended from school, which remains an inspiration to us all if for no other reason than that the kid went right back to his Red Rocket look as soon as school ended.
I reserve the right to bump the Manu cut up the list if Ginobili, who was horrendous in Game 2, builds on a solid-enough Game 3 (seven points, albeit with four missed 3-pointers, plus six assists against just two turnovers in 23 minutes) as the NBA Finals move forward. Until then, though, please remember that the list is the list, and feel free to let me know about any dope NBA haircuts you've seen in the comments below.
Hat-tip to FTW.