When the playoffs started back in April, Oklahoma City Thunder center Kendrick Perkins probably imagined he would currently be preparing for Game 7 of the NBA Finals, if not already basking in the glory of a title. That didn't work out for Perk and his teammates, of course, in part because of the season-ending knee injury suffered by Russell Westbrook in the first round. Yet, like anyone facing disappointment, Perkins has had to go on with his life. He is a man of many interests and needs, not just a basketball player.
So, on the night of the best NBA game in many years, Perk decided to sell a dog on Twitter. His first notice was short and to the point:
Hey I have a English bulldog and he to big to be around my youngest child he 10 months got his papers and he got a micro chip.
— Kendrick Perkins (@KendrickPerkins) June 19, 2013
This is an enticing prospect. Sure, the dog is apparently unsafe for very small children, but any other family, couple, or individual without that mitigating factor could be in line for a great dog with some fancy technology built in. Plus, who wouldn't want to do Perk a favor? The bulldog is cheap, right? We're just helping you out?
We paid about 3,000 for him but its not the the money we want to sell him for 1,500 but we will work with you just want a good home for him — Kendrick Perkins (@KendrickPerkins) June 19, 2013
That's a lot of money, Perk. Is there any way I can get a bargain?
I just don't want to sell him but we don't have time for him taking bids now
— Kendrick Perkins (@KendrickPerkins) June 19, 2013
Sure, this makes sense. eBay doesn't allow the sale of live creatures, which makes Twitter the next best option (other than several normal pet adoption channels). But no one will buy a four-figure dog sight unseen? What does he look like?
pic.twitter.com/VDzEtNhNAg — Kendrick Perkins (@KendrickPerkins) June 19, 2013
OK, this is an adorable dog. Check out this underbite!
— Kendrick Perkins (@KendrickPerkins) June 19, 2013
Surely someone would pay for this dog. Any takers?
Do anybody wants him seriously he needs to be gone by tomorrow — Kendrick Perkins (@KendrickPerkins) June 19, 2013
Gone? Like to a farm upstate? Um, is he at least going to get a home?
They dog sold yall
— Kendrick Perkins (@KendrickPerkins) June 19, 2013
Phew, it looks like this nameless, very cute animal has found a new owner. Hopefully it's a good one. Although, you know, we probably can't know that, since Twitter is an unproven venue for vetting potential pet owners.
We can only guess who won the auction, but I imagine it was @Bballhoffman. "Straw Dogs" is about pets, yes?
(via Deadspin)
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