After a rousing, fun and briefly kind of dangerous parade through the streets of downtown Miami, fans poured into AmericanAirlines Arena on Monday afternoon to continue celebrating the Miami Heat beating the San Antonio Spurs in the 2013 NBA Finals to secure back-to-back NBA championships. There were a couple of items of potential actual interest raised during the course of the celebration — for example, free-agent-to-be Chris Andersen calling for the team to go for a three-peat, suggesting he's interested in re-upping to stay in South Beach come July 1 — there were also a number of things that were funny, goofy or otherwise worth noting. Here, I've collected nine of my favorites — please feel free to leave yours in the comments below.
1. The Heat players danced to "Seven Nation Army" behind a curtain.
I guess "We Will Become Silhouettes" would've been a little on the nose. (Also, that wouldn't have been much of a pep rally pump-up jam.) If nothing else, this introduction underlined the immutable truth that it now seems like a very, very long time ago that Spurs fans mocked the Heat by chanting this at AT&T Center in San Antonio.
2. Both Dwyane Wade and LeBron James took the stage chomping on an unlit cigar.
There were two reasons for this. First, like Hannibal, they do so love it when a plan comes together, especially when that plan is joining forces with two fellow All-Stars with the express purpose of successfully pursuing multiple NBA champions. Second, Will Smith, duh.
3. Udonis Haslem is keenly aware of his role and enjoys playing it.
Here was the 10-year Heat veteran's response to an analysis of his captaincy, his locker-room leadership and on-court toughness:
Yeah, I been known to kick a little ass every now and then. You feel me? Man, I tell my teammates all the time, man: Never in a million years would I have thought I'd be making all this money, so just to pay $2,000 upside the head, I'll pay that all day. They could get that $2,000.
Just a reminder: A player receives a $2,000 fine every time he gets a technical foul, until he reaches technical number six; then it's $3,000 each for the next five, $4,000 each for the five after that, and so on. What a giving teammate, that Udonis Haslem.
4. The Birdman hazards a guess as to why he's developed such a good relationship with Heat fans.
In the space of five months since joining the Heat, Chris Andersen became an integral member of Miami's frontcourt rotation, a huge part of a historic 27-game winning streak, a forgotten man, a Finals savior and an NBA champion. Perhaps most importantly, though, he became a full-fledged crowd favorite with Heat fans. Why does he think that is?
Asked why he thinks Heat fans like him, Birdman says, "Maybe it's because I'm a crazy-ass white boy, I don't know."
— Dan Devine (@YourManDevine) June 24, 2013
Yep. Nailed it.
5. Mario Chalmers explains the Heat going more than five months without losing consecutive games.
The Heat lost to the Indiana Pacers on Jan. 8, 2013. They lost their next game, too, to the Portland Trail Blazers on Jan. 10. They then went the next 71 games — a span of 162 days — without tasting consecutive defeats. How does the Heat's point guard think they were able to manage that?
Chalmers, on why Miami is so good after losses: "We like to come back with a vengeance, let them know that was a fluke that they beat us."
— Barry Jackson (@flasportsbuzz) June 24, 2013
I'd respectfully disagree when it came down to the last two series that Miami played — it's no fluke when teams as tough as the Pacers and Spurs beat anyone — but then again, I'm not nearly as confident as Mario is.
6. Fans threw shoes at Mike Miller.
Callback! Also, does this make Mike Miller the George W. Bush of the NBA? If so, kind of feel like that'd make Spencer Hawes pretty ticked off.
7. Shane Battier brought back the Horsestranaut mask.
After acknowledging that he was pretty disappointing throughout the Heat's playoff run, the veteran forward said he had a little secret that helped him get right for his massive six 3-pointer Game 7 performance — a little something he made famous during the Heat's "Harlem Shake" video.
Good news for anyone who needed any brand new nightmare fuel. You're welcome, and sleep tight!
8. Fans and teammates threw headbands at LeBron James.
Callback again! Also, this is how LeBron described the feeling of losing his headband:
It was a out-of-body experience for me. If anyone knows me, especially my teammates, [if] my headband comes off in a game, I lose all powers. I can't dunk no more, I can't shoot, I can't dribble. I'm like a newborn baby. I start slobbering and everything.
In that case, then, what a truly Herculean effort by the four-time MVP to continue playing after becoming a newborn baby. It must be really hard to be good at basketball when you are a Filter lyric.
9. They closed with the Harlem Shake, duh.
And yet, despite all the fog and commotion, it appears Chris Bosh avoided taking a second confetti-based L. Now that's reason to celebrate.
Haslem video via Beyond the Buzzer. Miller shoe video via WHITEHOUSE3113. Battier Horsestranaut screencap via Jimmy Beneviste. LeBron video via TheAssociationLiveHD. "Harlem Shake" Vine via Joe Goodman of the Miami Herald.
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